is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
