so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
