Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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