I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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