Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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