Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
