I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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