You're completely useless in the revolution.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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