hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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