1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize