She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
