This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
