once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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