love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
