if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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