My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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