So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
