Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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