Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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