Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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