Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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