I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
