One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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