Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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