don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize