What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
