it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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