I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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