She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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