Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
