I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize