Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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