I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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