Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
