Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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