whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
