after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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