Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
