sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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