so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
