Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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