I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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