Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
