Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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