If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
