Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
