i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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