Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
