just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
