Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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