I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
