If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
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