If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
