Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
