He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
