everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
