Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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