Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
