that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
That reminds me...we need to get swords
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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