I wannas sexs uuuuu
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I did not marry a roomba.
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