So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
