Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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