Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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