Kareoke will never be a sober sport
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
