But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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