She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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