is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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